Updated: Nov 22, 2018
“I just, just want to eat some turkey.” Said one exasperated guest who thought her invite was with no strings attached, “Why do they need to know what kind of contraceptives I use?”
Indeed, dinner guests to the Goold’s house expected a nice, comforting, inviting meal of turkey. And that’s just what they could get, provided they answer “6 or fewer” intrusive questions before being allowed in the door.
“You can smell the pumpkin pie. You think you’re going to have a nice evening,” said one man who wished to remain anonymous, “and then BAM, ‘how many days a week do you have jock itch?’ Do I really need to tell you this just to get some dinner?
Guests were curious about what the point of the exercise is. Most clicked “prefer not to answer” until they were allowed in the door. Others clicked any random response, hoping just to get it over with. No one told the truth.
“Who the Hell is paying for this? It’s an annoyance for everyone, and no one can trust the answers anyway. Plus it pisses off every single visitor, I mean what were they thinking?” said another visitor who told us they got their Thanksgiving meal from a different neighbor.
“Everyone else is offering free meals and seems to appreciate us visiting. They want to make it easier for us to visit. They don’t need to know about my drinking habits before inviting me in.”
We tried reaching out to Mr. Goold for a comment, but a damn survey blocked us from getting to http://stltoday.com . So instead we perused any one of a thousand other newspapers and blogs.