Oh thank God you clicked. I’m going to write a post about Harrison Bader right now and about how broken he is. I mean, do you want to know how broken he is? The man’s biggest issue is breaking balls. Like, literally, “breaking” is right there in the name. That’s like being ultra-broken.
I have a bunch of analysis that talks about how Harrison Bader struggled with breaking balls last year, but I’m not going to bore you with all of that. You didn’t come here to read any sort of analysis. You came here, oh God I hope, because Harrison Bader retweeted this, and you really really want to get angry with the author for daring provide critical analysis of a baseball player you like. Maybe Harrison Bader will read your tweet. Maybe he’ll even like it. That will give your life value! Maybe he’ll mention you in his Hall of Fame speech some day!
In the meantime I’ll take the notoriety of having a bajillion anger clicks that’s gonna net me somewhere north of 7 sweet, sweet Adsense pennies. Papa doesn’t pay for his Brazzer’s subscription with magic, you know. We’re all winners here.
Please stay tuned for my other super controversial work sure to anger up some blue checks into retweeting me:
Is Adam Wainwright Worse Than When He Was 27?
Dexter Fowler: Potentially Not the MVP
Does Yadier Molina Look A Little Tired In This Picture Of Him Sleeping?
Is There A Chance That Not Every Member of the St. Louis Media Isn’t Perfect At All Times?
Please remember to check back on these controversial posts, and to choose which celebrity egos you want to spend your personal time carrying water for.