Rob Manfred Hates Puppies

MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred probably despises kittens, rainbows, and helping old ladies across the street. He just seems like the kind of guy who vehemently opposes anything the rest of us consider beautiful in this world. He wants everybody off of his lawn and his neighbor's lawn as well. The opposite of love is not hate - it's Rob Manfred. Want to ruin the game so many love and cherish? He's the guy.


He's the guy who leaves the toilet seat up even though he hasn't actually used the toilet.


He's the guy who talks during movie trailers and then asks questions about the plot during the movie itself.


He's the guy who eats tacos by first rolling them up.


He's probably the guy who suggested and then designed the war chest that MLB owners are currently filling with money to fight the CBA battle and weather a potential strike.


He's the guy who cheered when Mufasa died.


He's the guy who would hire someone just to fire them on day one.


He's the guy who won't turn right on red no matter what.


He's the guy who loved the finale of Game of Thrones.


He also happens to be that guy who hates minor league baseball and has no sympathy for anyone impacted by contraction of MiLB teams.


He's the guy who is most likely to become Satan's condom.


He's the guy who holds his phone flat in his hand while screaming into one end and turning the phone to listen to the other.


He's the guy who actively shushes people while listening to music on the subway.


He's the guy who uses the urinal right next to the only other guy using a urinal in a bathroom full of urinals.


Unfortunately, he's the guy chosen by owners and paid by owners to run baseball, and he's doing a lousy job of it.


He also still hates puppies (probably).


-#dennis