Yup, you know what that means by now. Here we are, again. I don’t even have the right words to recap this game. Basically all I can come up with is, “this seems pretty normal.” You see, when you’ve watched the same thing produce the same results the past 4 seasons, you kinda just become numb to it. I seriously thank the Cardinals for that, because they’ve made me essentially bulletproof with my emotions and I think that’s pretty cool.
With that being said, lemme give you all a pathetically short recap. So basically, the Cardinals blasted Jon Lester in the top of the 1st. After Carp struck out to open the game, Deez drew a walk and Goldy lined a single back up the middle to bring in the man I call Swags. Swags took Lester deep for a 3-run donkey shot, sending a 3-0 fastball to DEEEEEEEEP CF (437 ft. 110mph exit velo). Haaaaaaaarry, with eight a’s, followed suit two batters later, taking Lester DEEP onto Waveland Ave (417 ft. 104mph exit velo).
After that, crickets. They would manage to somehow forget how to hit, or get runners on base. Deez reached on a two out infield single in the 2nd and Goldy followed with a walk. The Cards only base runner (unless you wanna count KoWo reaching in the 9th on the strike three wild pitch) after stranding Deez and Goldy, would be Cafecíto reaching via a fielding error from Bryant down at 3B. 21 Cardinals were retired in a row from this point on. Yikes.
On the pitching side of things, Jack Flaherty simply didn’t have anything going. Pitches leaking back over the heart of the plate, no command (and I mean missing spots pretty noticeably), and thus was ran from this game after 3.2IP.
Brebbs and Gant were unusually bad tonight, too. Which let me know that maybe it was just not the Cardinals night all the way around, because they’re usually cheat codes outta the pen. Both would serve up 2 earned runs.
By this time I had already shotgunned four Bud Light’s. And that’s where the recap ends. Because who honestly cares at this point. We got the Blues ready to snatch the Cup on home ice tonight and if that doesn’t make you feel some type of way, you’re probably a robot.
Uncle Charlie (5-5, 4.34) takes the ball in game-three, looking to salvage a second sweep at Wrigley. Kyle Hendricks (6-4, 3.16) matches up with Waino, and he seems to always pitch his best stuff vs the Birds. First pitch 6:05pm c/t (booooooooooo), that nobody will pay attention to because LGB!!!!!!! More importantly, just turn your television to NBC at 7pm and call it a night.