top of page

The Cardinal Sin - Newseum Opens New Exhibit Honoring That One Time Jeff Gordon Said Something Smart

“It’s every media member’s dream really, that hope that one day we’ve thrown enough shit at the wall that something sticks.”

So reads the plaque outside the Jeff Gordon exhibit at the Newseum honoring his brief moment of time when his opinions and articles were not quickly ignored like a mumbling hobo you fear might be dangerous.

While there is no record of the event, alleged to have taken place sometime in late 1988, or early 1989, witnesses to the posh gala where Gordon made his statement swear it did actually happen.

“I was blown away,” said one man, “Normally I’d have written it off as just another tidbit to think about, but the fact that it came out of Jeff Gordon’s mouth – why – who would have guessed it could happen?”

No one remembers the exact quote, however there is a strong belief that it had something to do with a better way to prevent Mildew from building up in the bathtub.

The Newseum notates that with this one intelligent remark, Gordon has put himself in the top 20% of all media members, as most have never muttered a single thing worth listening to.

For the grand opening of the exhibit, the Newseum hopes to drum up interest by specifically asking Jeff Gordon not to make a statement.

*editors note: this is satire. this is not real. just a quick recap of satire for those that are not familiar "The use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices."*


bottom of page